Category: #dogoodery - good & gracious co.

1/25/2016

Lotsa Good, Little Effort

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I came down with a cold last week, and then a nasty virus hit the kiddo like a ton of bricks the day after she had nightmares about bad germs with pointy noses and scary teeth. Bad timing. Let's hope she comes out of this feeling like she slayed some dragons by confronting her fears (fingers crossed).

These illnesses got me to thinking about how rough it is this time of year, with all of the hacking, sneezing, coughing, and snot. So. Much. Snot. It's easy to want to curl up in a ball and forget about doing good things because we all feel like mud. Luckily, however, we live in the era of slacktivism, and there is actually a ton of good that you can do without ever leaving the comfort of your La-Z-Boy. Here's a run-down of very little effort good things you can do while you Netflix binge and blow your nose.

Pay homage to Alan Rickman and help make a difference in the refugee crisis
Download the Be My Eyes app and help a blind person navigate through a live video connection
Play FreeRice and donate rice through the World Food Programme to help end hunger
Take a selfie and use Donate a Photo to raise money for your charity of choice
Download the Instead app or the I Can Do Without app, and donate the coinage you would have spent on coffee or lunch out to help a charity.

These ideas are the tip of the iceberg - dig into the depths of Google and see what else you can come up with. I'd love to hear about what you find! And in the meantime, stay hydrated and get plenty of rest. We need you well so that we can change the world for the better!

9/22/2015

Give a little bit

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[Warning: This post will make you think of the F-word. A lot. PG-13 up in here, folks!]

There's an interesting cultural conversation going on right now about whether it's better to "give a f**k" or to "not give a f**k." The don't-givers argue that caring is constraining. They say that when we worry about what others think of us, we allow ourselves to be limited. Their premise is that by not giving a f**k, the don't-givers assume power, strength and confidence. That's not to say that the don't-givers are selfish or egotistical - they just aren't willing to accept mainstream definitions of how they should act and what they should do. They want to be their own people - to do what they want to do in their own way. They want to be like Rhett to Scarlett - not only do they not give a f**k, they don't give a damn about what you think either.

The do-givers in this conversation say that the don't-givers are cold. They fault the don't-givers for stifling emotion, and for feeding cultural stereotypes that do-givers are too invested, too irrational, too conforming, too messy in their caring. The do-givers want to show the world that they're paying attention, and they tend to make sense of everything through more conventional channels. Whereas a don't-giver would dismiss a jerk spouting demeaning stuff at work as simply a jerk, a do-giver would dwell on the scenario, analyze it, break it down, acknowledge how it made him/her feel, and then try to figure out how to fix it.

Or at least that's what the tropes and memes tell us. I don't buy it.

The don't-giver and the do-giver are one and the same. Both/and. Also/as well. Flip sides of the same coin. I'm a don't-giver and a do-giver. You are too. It's the only way that we could ever survive. The world is too big, our social interactions are too great, the seconds in our day too immense for us to be either a don't-giver or a do-giver all the time. Let's break it down with an example:

Running late for work. Cat knocks over the plant for the 18,000th time. Don't-giver
Daughter asks for more time with mommy at preschool drop-off. Do-giver
Telemarketer hangs up on me at work. Don't-giver
Friend calls to ask for a favor. Do-giver
Look in the mirror and fixate on some imperfection, then decide to shrug it off. Don't-giver

You get the picture. Flip-flopping between don't-giving and do-giving happens a gazillion times a day. Everyone does it. No one is discretely in the don't-giver or do-giver category. We all selectively choose what we care about and what we allow to get under our skin, and we probably don't even do it consciously. Even the most ardent don't-givers aren't fortresses of cool all the time.

So here's the good lesson o' the day. You don't have to be a "hippy dippy" (as someone described me last week - in that moment, I chose to be a don't-giver!) to make the world a better place. Even if you're a don't-giver 98% of the time, make your 2% of do-giver moments really count for something. Only you know what tugs at your heart strings. The truth is, we're all just human. Perfectly flawed and perfectly insecure, and yet, perfectly capable of doing good things. And if we all just gave 2%, imagine how much good that would be.

9/17/2015

Keeping busy

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I've been sick this week, and I haven't paid much attention to writing. Sorry about that. In fact, I haven't done much more than a whole lot of couch sitting and binge watching Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (oh, Season 3... why did you have to be so short?!). Since there's nothing really new with me, I thought I would just write a quick FYI post to let you all know of some good stuff I've been working on lately with some of the best folks imaginable (well, before the nasty virus did me in at least). These projects are very much currently in the works, but I'm sure you'll hear more about them soon. Consider this a teaser.

First, I wanna talk about Syrian refugees. I've written about this a couple of times already... about how my world went all wonky when I read about Aylan Kurdi's death. Turns out, I'm not alone. As I sat reeling, I got a Facebook message from another friend/mama who was doing the same. I logged onto the White House website to sign a petition for resettling Syrian refugees, and as soon as I clicked "send," I got a call from another friend/mama who was also grieving and reaching out. We decided to "do something." In fact, that's what my Facebook event invitation was titled, "Do Something for Syrian Refugees." Since I created that event, more than twenty people have hosted two meetings and created a Facebook Group (Rocktown Rallies). The Facebook group has 123 members, and the good folks in it are currently planning three events, fundraising efforts, hands-on activities, and public awareness initiatives. If you're local to Harrisonburg, we would love for you to be involved. We're having another meeting on Monday at 6pm. If you live somewhere else, we would love for you to "do something" too. All is takes is the willingness to throw your interest out there. People will help. There are always helpers.
#rocktownrallies #rallyforrefugees

Second, I've been helping to plan a TED-x inspired event for Harrisonburg. The event titled Ideas 2 Inspire will be held at Court Square Theater on October 20th. It will feature local folks telling local stories that will be inspirational and uplifting. The group of great organizers hopes that the people who attend will hear positive messages, feel energized and rejuvenated, and make connections with other like-minded folks who want our community to be a better place. If you live in the Shenandoah Valley, please put this one on your calendar, and plan to come out for the event. Tickets are $10 each, and can be purchased online (here). We would also love it if you could print up a flyer and post it somewhere around town. We know you know people - help us reach them!
#valleyi2i

That's it right now... just a little snippet of the good I'm trying to do. I'd love to hear about the good things you're up to, 'cause I know they're awesome. Holla back with #do-goodery.

9/11/2015

Remembrance and good deeds

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The tragedy of 9/11 was fourteen years ago today. I, like most Americans who were of adult-ish age on that day, can remember how events unfolded with almost hyper-realistic clarity. One of my most crystal clear recollections actually originated three days later, when I first noticed a commercial airplane fly overhead once more. I was standing on the sidewalk outside of the Last Resort Café in Athens, Georgia, waiting to celebrate my 25th birthday. I felt oddly suspended in time, simultaneously grounded in collective mourning and adrift in a world turned upside down.

It is easy to think of 9/11 and dwell on horror and sadness. But I think it's better to think of the human triumphs. Countless stories abound of good samaritans; selfless emergency workers; dedicated and exhausted medical professionals; generous neighbors; and kind strangers.

And while 9/11 made visible such goodness as a kind of therapy for our hurting human spirits, good deeds are not actually uncommon. Whether the precipitating force is a large-scale tragedy like 9/11 or a run-of-the-mill bad day scenario like a flat tire, the simple truth is that people help people every day. We just don't always hear much about it.

I'm glad that the legacy of 9/11 has turned into a day of service. In fact, September 11th is the largest annual day of charitable engagement in the United States. Each year, more than 40 million Americans observe September 11th by doing good deeds for other people. We all know that the world is better when we help each other, and a national day of service is a great way to help the good grow. You can even make aGood Deed pledge for 9/11, share it with your friends, and encourage other people to make pledges as well. I'm going to a potluck tonight where I pledge to help plan a local response to the Syrian humanitarian crisis. What good are you going to do? I'd love to hear all about it (#do-goodery).

9/3/2015

Doing good for the neighborhood

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Last night I went to a meeting for the Harrisonbug Women's Service League (HWSL), a local civic organization dedicated to meeting the needs of women, children, and families in the Harrisonburg-Rockingham County area. The group follows an academic meeting schedule, and last night was the first meeting of the year. It was wonderful to see so many women show up, excited about working together to make a difference in our local community.

I mention HWSL not because I'm a new member (I've been a member since 2006), nor because our initiatives are singularly remarkable (we're not reinventing the wheel with supply drives and volunteer hours). But what does make HWSL remarkable is its spirit, and members' commitment to uplift our community by uplifting everyone else. We recognize that it doesn't always take moving mountains to make a difference. Sometimes all that is needed is for someone to stand up and say, "we'll help." That's what HWSL does - we help, in any way we can.

Luckily, HWSL is not alone. Across the country, in every community, there are organizations just like us. There are organizations filled with people willing to help. There are additionally scores more people who are willing to help, but who don't know about available organizations that can direct their energies and talents. So what I'm asking for you to do is to share a little info. If you know of an organization doing good things, tell people about it, just like I'm doing right now. If you know of people who seem particularly inclined and capable of making a difference, encourage them. Help them get connected. If you hear of events sponsored by community organizations, go to them. If you're asked to buy a potted plant to support a local charity, buy it. These small actions are so important to build momentum on the do-goodery train. We all can play a role in making a difference.

And if you're a woman over the age of 18 in the Harrisonburg-Rockingham County, Virginia area, I'd love to invite you to attend an HWSL meeting. We meet the first Wednesday of the month at 6pm. Just holla. We'd love to have you.

7/23/2015

One of the Best Days

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Even though I love to plan birthday parties, I feel kind of awkward when the shoe is on the other foot and it's my birthday that I'm celebrating. Planning my own party seems overweening, but I'm a control freak and don't like passing party planning reigns on to someone else. So, when my husband inevitably asks what I want to do for my birthday, I usually hem and haw and eventually request something other than a party. That's exactly what happened in 2012 when I turned 36 years old. I expected that Mike would come up with something like a hike or a scenic drive. Then wow... he hit birthday planning out the park by giving me a day of 36 Random Acts of Kindness.

That birthday was not just my best birthday ever, it was one of my best days ever period. Although I may not have recognized it at the time, doing 36 acts of kindness in a day was probably the incipient inspiration for this blog. I was truly flooded with feel-good endorphins. The helper's high was like nothing I had ever experienced. I'm a cry-er by nature, so a lot tears were shed that day, but they were GOOD tears. It was a GOOD day. And it encouraged me to keep on doing GOOD things.

3/18/2015

Little Gestures Mean so Much, Especially on the Dark Days

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So, a little bit about me. I started my Ph.D. in Women's and Gender Studies at Emory University waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 2003. Flash forward a decade to find me living in Virginia, mom of a super awesome baby girl, running a non-profit, teaching part-time at a university, and STILL. NOT. FINISHED.WITH.THE. #$#*@%!. DISSERTATION.

To be honest, I wanted to quit. I had long since lost any perception of value in the degree I was pursuing. But it's not really like to me quit something academic. After Christmas (the day after, to be exact) in 2012, I really got to work. I had 3 or 4 badly written chapters already hammered out, and I had exactly 4 months to finish the entire opus.

It sucked.

Every day I went to work at 8:30 am, and stayed after work until 2:00am writing. I ate way too much chocolate. I drank too much caffeine. I gained a lot of weight. I lost valuable time with my family and infant daughter. The days (and nights) during that period were dark. I honestly feel like I emerged from my dissertation writing marathon with a touch of PTSD. It's been almost 2 years now, and I'm only beginning to feel kinda normal again. [Aside - I mentioned the PTSD feelings with someone else who recently completed her dissertation, and it was a total bonding moment. For those of you out there struggling with an academic albatross, feel free to reach out to me. I'm a good listener, and it can help to talk!]

3/11/2015

25 Fun Ways to Do Good Outside this Spring

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I wanna get outside and soak in some Vitamin D. May as well do some good while I'm at it. I put on the ol' thinking cap, and came up with 25 ways to do some good outside this spring (and summer, too). I hope at least one of these sounds like something you want to tackle. If you want some company, holla back and I'll have my people call your people.

3/6/2015

5 Strategies to Get Your Kids to Love Helping Others

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I love my community. It's a wonderful place filled with caring, generous people. But if I'm being honest, the flip side of my community is also filled with hurting, hungry, and overwhelmed people.

Every community is like my community. And neither side of any community's coin is discrete. The generous can be hurting, and the overwhelmed can still squeeze in generosity. The glue of any community is connection - knowing that we're not alone, and being willing to help each other out.

Like the tongue-in-cheek saying about voting, learning a lesson of service toward others is something to do early and often. Kids take their cues from us, folks, so we may as well explore ways to make service fun. Here are my top 5 ideas. Leave your thoughts in the comments - I would love to hear those too!
http://www.forbes.com/2010/04/20/brainstorming-ideation-ideas-leadership-managing-innovation.html

Let the kids brainstorm on what they would like to do. Follow standard rules of brainstorming. Write every idea down. Don't judge. Let the ideas flow. Sure, it may not be possible to build an army of robots to deliver groceries to elderly shut-ins, but that idea may be a jumping off point for something totally do-able.
Look for opportunities that mesh with your kids' interests. Do your kids like riding bikes? Volunteer to help build mountain biking trails. Do your kids love to perform? Go to a senior living facility and entertain the residents. Etc. etc.
Invite your kids to help with your pet service projects. If you already have a steady volunteering gig, invite your kids to join you, and treat them like a peer volunteer. Whether or not they want to admit it, your kids like spending time with you. A day of helping others can turn into a really special day.
Help kids understand how they are helping. Dragging your child along to a food pantry and telling them to separate cases of juice boxes for 2 hours won't be very meaningful unless you do some work to help them connect the dots. Your child may not have any idea of what it means to be chronically hungry. They may not understand why someone would buy food at a store versus take food given away at a food pantry. Help them understand.
Include service in family traditions. Kids eat up traditions. They love that every year, your family gets pajamas and a movie on Christmas Eve. They love that Halloween night ends with a pot of chili and a candy exchange with neighbors. Build service into your family traditions, and they will love that too.