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3/23/2016

Dreaming out loud

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In my missive against the Man earlier this week, I mentioned that I have dreams and it's about time that I act on them. I've decided that step one is going to be dreaming out loud. Maybe I'll manage to speak my dreams into being. Each time I talk about what I want to do, maybe forward momentum will become more real.

So what's my dream, you ask? It's this...
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Image courtesy of Saved by Love Creations. Click on image to go to their page.
Yep - a vintage camper. But... more than that too! I want to purchase and restore a vintage camper, and then use it as a mobile candy and craft soda shop. I want to take it to festivals and to have it available for event rentals. I want to be a part of weddings and birthday parties and graduations and all kinds of other best days. I want to use my nights and weekends eliciting happiness. I want to have my cute vintage camper available for community fundraisers like 5Ks and food truck festivals. I want to offer a different kind of customer reward program, one that bestows free sweet treats for grown ups and kiddos who clock a certain number of good deeds.  I want to pre-package Random Acts of Kindness gift baggies for people to purchase and share as a means to generate smiles. I want a cheerful outdoor rug, a shady awning, and comfy Adirondack chairs. I want new and old friends to kick back and toast good times with simply made, delicious sodas consisting of ingredients like juniper, elderberry, and actual factual ginger root. I want to be a happy part of people's lives. 

Unfortunately, I don't have any money to make my dream a reality... yet. I'm determined, though, and I plan to really amp up my side hustles to make this dream come true. I'm starting an Instagram store shortly, so be on the lookout if you want to buy some of my cool (could be a relative term... we'll see!) junk. I'll also be crafting up a storm on Etsy - keep your eyes peeled for that. Another thing that I would love your help in promoting is my gigantic yard sale; it will be held in Harrisonburg on May 21st. I'll advertise the yard sale on the G&GCo. social media pages, so please "like" and "share." I'm also pondering selling some candy camper memberships as a way of raising capital - if I decide to go that route, I'll be sure to let you know. 

I'm not going to lie - it's a little daunting to admit this dream out loud. Peddling candy and fizzy drinks seems oddly quaint in our 21st century world. The thing that appeals to me about candy, good soda, and vintage campers, however, is that they harken back to simple things that make us smile. In a world crowded with high tech and lightening speed, we need that more than ever. I truly hope that I'm able to pull this off, and I look forward to the day that you come visit me at a festival or event near you. I'll have your Adirondack chair and a sassy rhubarb soda waiting for you.

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3/21/2016

Woman Up!

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I was invited to talk at an event last night, Women in Focus III. The goal of the event was to invite women - all kinds of women - to come on stage and talk or perform for about 10 minutes each. The organizers stated that sometimes it's difficult for women to feel as if we're allowed space to do what we do and to be who we are. Women in Focus was an attempt to deliberately create such space for women.

My very brief talk (I shared my 10 minutes with another person) was about my work with Rocktown Rallies, the refugee advocacy group that I helped start back in the fall. After my 3 minutes in the spotlight, I fortunately was able to kick back and listen. Of course the organizers were right - the experience of deliberately respecting space for women is a cool thing. And it is also way too rare. 

I am an almost 40-year-old Ph.D. holder in Women & Gender Studies, and yet still I am plagued by worries about authority and legitimacy. All too frequently I find myself slipping into gendered norms of behavior, and that frustrates me. I try to mother my girl child with messages of gender empowerment, and I simultaneously struggle with my personal feelings of profound disempowerment. My only comfort (and simultaneous gigantic disappointment) is that I'm not alone in these feelings. Women of all walks of life feel the same way. Too many of us smart, capable visionaries spend much of our time feeling boxed in, silenced, and invisible. 

Sidebar: Open a new browser window and type the phrase "where are the women?" You'll get a list of articles with themes that look something like: 
  • Where are the women in STEM?
  • Where are the women in finance?
  • Where are the women in art?
  • Where are the women in tech?
  • Where are the women in sports?
Newsflash: women are there, but we're not socially conditioned to see or hear women. And when we do, we too often dive head-first into gendered criticism over BS stuff like whether women smile enough or talk too loud. 

Last night's presentations certainly reminded me of the frustration of living in a masculinist world. But they simultaneously served as nice reminders that women are very much present, and doing awesome stuff. We are surrounded by women who are brave and creative and innovative and assertive. Not only do I think it's extremely important to give such women props, I think it's also good to be confessional and admit that I very much want to be like them. While I feel like I have some of those traits some of the time, my successes certainly haven't come without struggle, second-guessing, and doubts. For every brave thing I've done in my life, there are dozens of other opportunities, plans, and projects that I wanted to pursue and talked myself out of doing. 

We're all on a journey, and we make choices as we travel together. For the girls and women out there, I encourage you to be courageous, strong, and fabulous. Doing so may be scary, or feel selfish, or open you up to criticism. Repeat after me, and holler an enthusiastic: "SO WHAT!" For the boys and men out there, I encourage you to look at the girls and women in your lives and to be supportive, understanding, and fabulous as well. Doing so may be scary, or feel discombobulating, or open you up to criticism. Go ahead and add your voice to the "SO WHAT!" chorus! 

Men and women... more alike than different, and all deserving of equal regard. Why limit our collective potential because of some silly ol' gender norms? Personally, I'm tired of pushing myself to the backburner. To quote Big Hero 6, I know that I need to "woman up." I need to resolve my resentments, to ignore my excuses, and to stop my belly-achin'. I have dreams, and it's time to start acting on them. If you need me, I'll be laying the groundwork for my next 3 minutes in the spotlight. I hope you'll come shine with me. I can hardly wait to kick back and listen while you share your awesomeness. 

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3/7/2016

Twinkle on

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I haven't posted much lately because, frankly, I haven't been feeling it. Maybe it's the negative political yammering dominating the airwaves or the woes being shared in my Facebook feed, or maybe I'm just feeling a seasonal ennui with everything. Whatever it is, I haven't been as tuned in to the good lately. I think we probably all go through these phases where we wish we could scream an expletive, drop the mic, and exit the building. Or, at least I tell myself that so I don't feel alone in this. 

Here's the thing to remember, though. Even when we're in the midsts of our own personal pity parties or temper tantrums, good stuff keeps keepin' on. People still help one another. Meals are still delivered to sick people. Gifts are still given to new parents. Money is still dropped in collection plates. Hand-me-downs are still passed on. Prayers are still given. Kids are still taught. Homeless people are still housed. Kindness is still offered, and accepted with deep gratitude.

It's easy to forget about daily kindnesses when we're too focused on negative news and negative self-projections. But please take note: we're all made of stardust, and in this infinite cosmos that we call home we can amplify our stardust selves simply by acting with kindness toward one another. We can make ourselves and others shine brighter, even twinkle and shimmer, by treating each other well. 

I have been reminded of the promise of our capacity for kindness in watching my 4-year-old daughter participate in a pre-school civic responsibility project. The eight 2- to 5-year old students in her class spent the last two weeks raising money (by doing chores!) to build a house for a family in Nicaragua. A group from JMU goes to Nicaragua every spring break to build houses. The kiddos raised a total of $282, plus an additional $525 from a BBQ fundraiser by one of the parents, plus matching funds from a kind donor, for a grand total of $1,414! Amazing. As my husband wrote on Facebook:
[T]he two most important things she learned are: 
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1. She can make a difference in the world, and it is important to try to do what you can, where you are, with the resources you have. Her little arms stacked paper, organized offices, created art, pulled weeds, sharpened pencils, returned library books and much more. These small things helped to provide money to build a house. If her four year old self can do that, then there is hope in this world.

2. She learned that she is not in this alone. The number of people who were incredibly generous truly blew me away. She kept saying "all these people really want that house to get built, don't they Daddy?" In raising money, she learned that the world is a place where people want to help, and that if we act in ways that are kind, then others will follow. You don't have to run a nonprofit or lead a major fundraising campaign (although please please please keep doing those things) to make a difference. You can just be a 4 year old who thinks everyone deserves to have a roof over their heads.

Thanks to everyone who contributed and who works hard every day to make this world a better place. And good wishes to the wonderful group of volunteers as they head to Nicaragua with dollars raised by tiny hands looking to make a difference.
Godspeed, home builders. From twinkling stardust in Harrisonburg, Virginia to twinkling stardust in Chacraseca, Nicaragua, may we all keep shining on. 

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3/1/2016

Be Super today

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It's Super Tuesday. Election Day. Time for you to get out the vote. I've only missed one election ever in my voting career - a run-off for a local office. I kicked myself so hard for that because I realize what a privilege it is to be able to freely exercise my Constitutional rights. And as much as I love democracy and hold it up as an ideal, I also realize that my ability to freely exercise rights still is not something equally afforded to all American citizens. 

I'm not going to go into candidate stumping and bashing in this post (ok... well, maybe a little...). But I do want to encourage you to think back about what you learned about citizenship and democracy in your elementary school social studies classes. In my elementary school, there was a display of important historical documents in the hallway on the way out to the playground. The display, called "The Freedom Shrine," was permanently mounted to the cinder block wall. Students lined up in that hallway every day, and absent-mindedly touched replicas of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Magna Carta, the Emancipation Proclamation, and more, as we filed outside. While our little fingers danced across words of great magnitude, we viscerally beheld examples of democratic struggle. Democracy is not always easy, but it is always worth it. 
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An example of The Freedom Shrine - this one is in Memorial Town Hall in Madison, CT.
I didn't think much of it at the time, but considerable good came from the many days was I parked in line next to the Declaration of Independence. Intentional focus on good citizenship by my primary school teachers and by members of my family made my repeated exposure to words like "freedom," "justice," "inalienable," "equal," and "liberty" meaningful. What I know of equality and justice originated in my childhood and formed my bedrock understanding of what it means to live in a democratic society as an adult. 
Which brings me back to this election. It's a fact that some candidates are more invested in the democratic process than others. Some candidates have a much better understanding of the notion of "We the People" than others. Some candidates better understand the promise and shortcomings of living in a democratic republic than others. And some candidates are more willing to do the hard and necessary things to uphold justice, to work toward equality, and to strive for liberty than others. 

On this Super Tuesday, please go vote. When you do, think about your eight-year-old self. Would you have voted for a bully? Would you have voted for a person who singles out others based on their religion or the color of their skin? Would you have voted for someone who only had a passing knowledge of the precious documents that hung outside your classroom? Would you have voted for someone who claimed that the fact that they had a lot of money gave them more privileges? Would you have voted for someone who tried to silence people who were brave enough to point out injustice and to propose ways to make our country better? If your eight-year-old self would have said "no" to any of those questions, then your grown-up self should know what to do. Democracy can be hard, and messy, and difficult. But at the same time, it's pretty simple. As a collective, we should do all that we can to ensure liberty and freedom for everyone; and if injustices persist, then it's up to us to do something about it. Your vote is your power. Don't waste it. Today, I'm looking for more than good. I hope that you'll be Super.

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